Shadow
I will be the first to admit that merging scientific and religious metaphors is tricky business. I have always believed that science and religion are two paths to the same truth. When it comes to matters of God’s creation, Science asks “how” and religion asks, “why”. One of our Long’s Chapelers psychologist by trade, in a Bible Study last year, told our whole group that he thought the Bible was the most amazing psychological text book ever written. What he was getting at is that the wisdom, stories, commandments and guidance found in the Scriptures doesn’t just reflect the revelation of God but the “condition” of humanity. For all of our differences, we are all blessed and “infected” by the best and worst of being human and are a lot more similar than different.
Case in point - Carl Jung fascinates me. A Swiss influenced Christian - it seems he felt his calling was to help folks find their true selves. He believed faith in Jesus could help us do that if we weren’t using Jesus to escape the “shadow” side of our lives but to actually confront it and offer redemption. Jesus, after all, does define discipleship as “take up one’s own cross and follow me.” “Shadow” is an interesting word. It feels spiritual even. I am not an expert on Jung and I don’t claim to be an “expert” on the Bible either. But I do know that when people are “possessed” in the Gospel they are asking Jesus to make a way for God to “possess” their soul again and make them whole. When Jesus is confronted by the devil in the “wilderness” and is tempted with power, worship and comfort without effort - this defines the next 3 years of earthly ministry. When Jesus is sweating blood and praying for a release from the suffering in the “Olive Garden” on the night he was arrested, his weakness was God’s path to strengthen Him. When Jesus is crying out from the cross in personal angst He stays firmly committed to dying for even the folks that placed Him there.
Lots of folks have done spiritual work around the implication of “shadows” - I’ll save more detailed work around that for another time. But let me cut to the chase - we all have shadows in our own life that scare us and our natural tendency is to see them as a threat and to run from them. When we are “fighting” for survival, that could serve us well. But if we long to not just “survive” but “thrive”, we will cause harm to the very path we seek. Remember when Jesus gives this really odd teaching about loving one’s enemies. He teaches that anyone can love those who are already love-able but loving the unlovable - that is where trust in God is revealed. What if that doesn’t just apply to the “ugly” in others but what we see as ugly in ourselves. Making space for our shadow can mean befriending and being curious about the unloveable parts of ourselves that can expand our capacity for God.
A few examples -
sometimes our anger is really fear that explodes,
sometimes “giving up” is really helplessness to control something and so we pull away on our owns terms,
Sometimes, even when we know we are wrong, we deal with such shame and embarrassment that we actually get more “dug in” on this battle that may not matter in the large scheme of things and lose sight of everything else,
Sadness and Disgust can sometimes be the exposed part of our grief and “self” righteousness that make us feel justified in our feelings but don’t leave much space and room to be “justified” in Christ.
In other words, have you ever wondered how Jesus does some of His most important work in the darkness of shadows (meets Nicodemus in cover of night to save Nic embarrassment). This, to me, is why the spiritual practices where we encounter God’s unconditional love are so important (prayer, worship, spiritual friendship, communion, service to others etc.). They give us strength and perspective to face the future unafraid, assuming we let Jesus truly be Lord of ALL of us.
In the late winter, we hold our breath to see if the groundhog will see it’s shadow as a predictor of winter ending. Seeing our own shadow is actually a really important indicator of coming out of our own winter, as well. Sometimes prayer alone and spiritual friendship can help us see it and other times it takes years of deep work with God and “healers” that come along the way to help us not fear “the more crusty” parts of our being. As a good friend of mine says, “It is amazing to see how much we can feel God’s love when we clear the “junk” out of the way.” I think this is what Paul is saying in Romans 8 - nothing (on God’s end) can separate us from God’s love (except our inability to be open to God’s love).
Let’s be honest. Discomfort often leads us to judgement for self and others. We do this very naturally but the problem is that it “masks” what’s underneath that need to control which is often hard to hold. But trust me please - the greatest gift we can give ourselves, God and those around us is to pay attention to this and learn how to offer our pain to God.
One of the ways we talk about Jesus is that He is a “breaker of chains”. Instead of just throwing back at someone whatever they are dishing out, Jesus shows us to how to break cycles of violence and harm by making room for God’s grace to hold the hurt. If we really believe that Jesus carried all the sin of the world on the cross, then we ought to be able to believe that God is strong enough to help us carry all our shadows. Jesus invites us to place our “darkness” in the light of God where salvation is found. Giving into fear does not honor Jesus. Giving into “helplessness and hopelessness” is the opposite of the Gospel. Facing those emotions with the very strength of the full cross and empty tomb, is the very definition of growing in God’s love.
I could use the “grief” I have felt over the loss of my mom about 20 months ago as an example. Her death brought up lots of feelings - urgency to make sure her wishes were honored came first. Then when I ran out of “to-do’s”, the sadness and remorse and guilt set in. I should have done more or been more . . . You get the picture. And then under that was just loss and a bit of feeling like an orphan. And then under that was gratitude for the parts of her that didn’t just make me made better. And then under that was confronting the parts of her life that always “rubbed” me the wrong way and chasing down the reason for that. Don’t want to overshare or make this about me - but I found my ability to trust God with the weight of that was essential for me to go deeper and then I was able to name, confess, and repent of ways I was reluctant to trust God BECAUSE it wasn’t comfortable.
Likewise, I know we are holding some really important questions as a church right now. Questions about denominational affiliation and unity in mission and what is faithful. I’m not above or removed from this, I’m holding this just like you are. I’m not running away from the tension, I’m leaning in because I believe Christ is in it. I’m not avoiding the tension, because I think I am learning things about Jesus “in the crucible” that I had never considered. When we are bold enough to trust God with big questions, we can be humble enough to receive a revelation from God.
It takes grace and charity for myself and others. It takes me knowing that there is only One God, and I am not God. I am assuming that all of us are doing spiritual work together and that God honors that work of unity even in the midst of disagreement. If my ultimately loyalty is NOT to a partisan talking point but more about seeing people that are striving to love Jesus in their own way, then I am NOT short-selling Jesus. I realize there even feels like there is judgement in that statement I just made (see me in real time try to see my shadow side). Truth is, Jesus is glorified when we bring Glory and honor to Jesus. Trust is, in trying to help Long’s Chapel be a stronger and more faithful church family, I am helping to preserve a space that isn’t focused on perpetuating a particular “brand” of Methodism but making space to declare Jesus as Lord in something that is evolving which God is creating in our midst. Make no mistake about it, God is bringing order out of chaos.
I have said that if the questions related to the position of the UMC on sexuality, marriage and ordination went away tomorrow, there are still huge disagreements about “how” to be in the church in American culture. I want to invite you to hold these larger questions about denominational affiliation and get more information as it’s helpful (we have set up congregational meetings to get you some of that information). But don’t let Long’s Chapel’s identity or your spiritual well being get wrapped up in that question because that’s NOT God’s will. Church isn’t Savior, or Redeemer, or Healer, but our sole job is to point and lead people to the One who is worthy. Put bluntly, Church is the Tupperware NOT the entree. Feasting on God’s grace is always the entree. We are inviting people into a living relationship with their living Savior. We are inviting people to the Gospel feast that God is providing. We will disagree on how to do that, what constitutes sinfulness or holiness, how to understand and offer the Word etc. Some people think church is place where we believe the same things. But I don’t know how they square this idea with a notion that we follow in the way of Jacob who wrestled with God, Jesus who begged to get out of the pain of the cross, Abraham who had to choose between following in the god’s of his father or Jehovah who wanted to become his father, and Peter and Paul who relented through suffering so that we might know God’s love to the ends of the earth. Doctrine matters - deeply and dearly. But doctrine saves no one till it’s wrapped in flesh and is willing to die to be resurrected to new life. NT Niles says, “Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread.” I once heard Stanley Haweraus call the church to account because doctors take malpractice in treating the physical body way more seriously than pastors who teach “bad” Christian theology, even though damage to body is temporary but damage to the souls has lasting consequences.
I have an invitation for you. I want to invite you to take part in the authentic and messy community called Long’s Chapel. A spiritually mature community of people seeking after our Holy God together. Where we believe that the safety to ask our questions is as important as having the right answers, because it takes both to grow in grace. G. K. CHESTERTON once said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.” I want you to try it and keep at it. I want you to realize that Jesus’ bleeding to institute church was not an accident but was necessary to advance the Good News of God. There is a reason that a cross and tomb are our central symbols not some nebulous nirvana that encourages us to ignore difficulty rather than draw on the strength of Christ which compels us here and now.
“I have but one candle of life to burn, and i would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light.” -Keith Falconer
“What God does in us as we wait is often much more important than what we are waiting for.” - Rich Villodas
-Pastor Chris, Chris@LongsChapel.com
