Spiritual Discipline of Friendship
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:12-13 NIV
Our recent Be-You-Tea-Full Thrift-Tea Fashion Show featured models from teens throughout adulthood, and also included a precious preschooler. This was intentional, because we want to create a safe space in which every woman, no matter what age or season they’re in, feels welcome and loved. Where intergenerational spiritual friendships can be nourished to grow and thrive.
Some of the most profound and healing moments of my life have come from hearing firsthand the stories of how God has acted in the lives of women who have become spiritual friends. Great women who have listened to God's call in their lives to simply be there as a friend, while providing a light of hope through their story.
And some of the most profound moments of ministry in my life have been when I have also heeded that call to be there for someone in need, by sharing God’s story in my life, and seeing the hope it can bring to someone else.
In the small town where I grew up, everybody knew everybody. People didn’t move as much. Women became mentors, simply by osmosis. You could see how they lived their lives, just by being a part of the community.
Community has changed so much since then. People move away. Friends come and go. It can feel scary to plug in to a new community, or even to become transparent in a community in which you are already participate. Establishing trust takes time, and taking that first step of transparency and vulnerability can bring its own set of fears. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of rejection. Fear of the unknown.
Ladies, we all have that scared little girl inside of us, looking for affirmation and love. Once we realize this, it helps us to understand we’re not that different, and maybe that knowledge will help remove some of the fear.
This is why it's so vital that we be observant. It's vital that we be open to God's call, and that we keep our eyes open so that we may see those around us who may be struggling. Who may be too fearful to take that first step.
Or, perhaps it’s you who who needs to step out in faith? (add a space between these two sentences)
It's also important to look outside of our core circle of friends, not only to those who are in the same season of life, but to those who are behind us in the journey, and to those ahead of us. Those ahead can often provide the wisdom and spiritual maturity that only comes from having lived many life experiences. They can share with us the hope of God's story in their lives. Those behind us are looking ahead for that light, and perhaps God's story in your life could be a healing balm, when shared from a place of your own healing.
There are many spiritual disciplines, also known as spiritual practices, which are meant to fill our spiritual buckets so that we can in turn go out into the world and be the hands and feet of Christ. They are the practices that open us to connection with God and fill us with His Spirit. The practices that work best for each of us can vary based on things such as personality, attention span, season of life, etc. The key is to find the disciplines that work best to draw you closer in connection with God.
Spiritual friendship is one of these practices. It’s the practice of developing friendships that encourage and challenge us to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength. It’s about “cultivating a covenant friendship where I can naturally share about my life with God. It is grounded in relationship to God and a commitment to support, encourage, and pray for one another.”*
May we encourage you to be a safe space for others, while also encouraging you to reach out and create those spiritual friendships that will nourish your own heart and soul? And may we encourage you to step outside of the box and be open to whatever season or stage of life a new friend may present with?
In a world where we rely on digital communication, we encourage you to push beyond that. Start with a text message, DM, or an email if you must, but then follow up with a phone call.
Yes, believe it or not, we can still use our phones for vocal communication!
If this person is local, meet up for coffee, lunch, or a walk. And when you do, ask each other how it is with your soul. By getting real with each other, we can begin to develop the trust needed to open our hearts to what God can do in our lives through spiritual friendships.
We're all in this together, and in the chaotic world in which we live, we need to recognize that more than ever. Spiritual friendships can create a ripple effect not only in the lives you touch, but in yours as well.
Today, your invitation is twofold. First, consider reaching out to a friend you haven't connected with in a while. Check in on them. See how they're doing, and ask how it is with their soul.
Second, reach out to someone who is either behind you or ahead of you in the journey. Someone who maybe you felt the spark of a connection with, but haven't yet followed through. Or maybe simply someone you look up to, or simply want to connect with. God may be calling you to share some of His story in your life, whether it be to mentor through a spiritual friendship, or to share your own need for guidance. Or both!
Who will you reach out to this week as a spiritual friend?
-Laura Greer
Women2Women
*Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Practices that Transform Us, Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, InterVarsity Press 2015.
Women2Women is a ministry that encourages women to cultivate an intimate relationship with Christ, while also exploring how God has uniquely created, gifted, and called each of us. We connect with women where they are in life’s journey, providing opportunities for spiritual growth, health and wellness, intergenerational fellowship, friendship, and mentoring. Events and retreats are targeted to the needs of women so we can grow deeper in our faith, develop our gifts and abilities, and establish long lasting friendships. For more information contact Laura Greer at 828.456.3993, Ext. 204 or Laura.Greer@LongsChapel.com, or Vickie Staib at 828.646.8819.
