A Calm in the Storm
Hail Mary, Full of Grace - the Lord is with you.
I really get caught up in the “senses” this time of year. Christmas music takes on a life of its own. And the Christmas movies - oh my goodness - I so enjoy those. I am struck by the ones I’ve caught glimpses of in the last week: the Grinch, Disney’s A Christmas Carol, and Home Alone. Isn’t it interesting that all 3 of those movies deal with a heart change for the main characters - Greedy Grinch, Stingy Scrooge, and Curmudgeony Kevin all have “their heart strangely warmed” in the end?
Don’t we all need a bit of heartwarming this time of year? This is a beautiful and stressful time - depending on your point of view, or what moment of the day or night it is. We get stressed easily. But my mind and heart keep going back to Mary, whose life was upended by grace. There was nothing about her life that looked the same after Jesus came. Nothing. She was a changed woman. It may have only taken one year from her invitation for the Holy Spirit to “invade her privacy” till the time she was relocated to Bethlehem, and the baby was born. But what a difference a year made for her. I stand amazed that God didn’t “force” this on her just as God doesn’t force Himself on any of us - “Let it be done to me according to your will.” This is why she is revered. This is why she is a model of faith.
Let’s not sterilize this story - she would endure embarrassment and have her life threatened multiple times for just simply following the call of God on her life. But there is something about her honest and earnest trust of God that “draws us in” when she is riding that donkey while bearing the pain of contractions AND also when she is staring at her whole world wrapped up in shroud and laid in the tomb that followed the cross. In John’s Gospel, she will nudge Jesus into his first miracle of turning water into wine, as only a mother could. Jesus’ wedding date was His mother, and she prepared the way for the world to “wonder.” And when He argued - as I imagine He did - she encouraged Him to model the same courage that SHE found in trust of this same God and a similar call some 30 years earlier. She knows what it’s like to lead with trust through fear; no empty words here.
History was not kind to Mary as she would endure much suffering and participate in her salvation in a way that feels to us as superhuman. The Church finds all manner of ways to venerate and honor her. Maybe even too much so. Why too much? Because I never want us to forget that she is a simple and young girl from Nazareth, and it is her against the sin of the world... But God. She’s trying to find her way in a world that needs redemption. Trying to find her way when the world will push back on God doing the redeeming. Trying to find her place in saving a world that will rip her heart in two. She would tell us, I think, that it all started with that not-so-silent witness where God asked for her cooperation, and she said, “YES.” Her heart strangely warmed.
I currently sit with a loved one in a waiting room to see the cardiologist. I look around at this waiting room and see lots of people who are “nursing” their hearts or are with people nursing their hearts. If Jesus isn’t Lord here, then where? If Jesus isn’t found in the waiting room of a hospital, then Jesus is nowhere.
I see a middle-aged couple in the corner - they are in their 50s, but he looks feeble, and I think he might be the patient. He is dressed well, but if I had to guess, I’d bet he recently had a heart attack, and they are doing a follow-up appointment. I think those nice clothes are covering up some real fear and unsettledness. There are several people of all ages alone here. And there is a middle-aged daughter and an older woman in a borrowed wheelchair in front of me. I’ll bet she has congestive heart failure, although her spirits seem good. Isn’t that odd? Everyone here is connected to a heart problem of some sort, but since we can't see inside someone’s heart - I’m not sure who the patients are. The building has “hospital” sterile-like white painted walls, fluorescent lights, and dropped-down ceilings everywhere. And the only prominent noise is a loud HVAC system that is blowing heat to keep us warm. And above the noise of that which is loud - someone is humming - in this waiting room. It’s so faint that I am sitting 20 feet from everyone, but I can’t tell where it’s coming from. You can tell they would have music playing in the waiting room, but they don’t want to offend anyone - so it’s quiet. But there it is again. It’s a gentle hum over the healthcare noise - it’s a female voice - but everyone is wearing a mask, and I can’t hear “from where.” I think it’s, “precious lord, take my hand - lead me on, let me stand - I am tired, weak and worn - through the storm, through the night, lead me on to the light - precious lord - take my hand - lead me home.”
Maybe Mary isn’t that far away after all - “Let it be done to me according to your will.”
A “not-so-silent” witness. In the waiting room. In Advent. A calm in the storm. It’s subtle but persistent. If Jesus isn’t Lord here, then where???
Precious Lord…precious indeed.
Wondering in the waiting,
Chris
