Curves Ahead: Responding to Life’s Struggles
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Cor. 12:9 NLT
The curves ahead warning sign is a common sight when you live in the mountains. Often a suggested lowered speed limit is posted as well. If we heed this warning, we go through the curves at a slower pace, maybe get shifted around slightly, but nothing major happens. You get through it. However, God help the driver who does not heed the warning, for that person could be speeding into a world of hurt.
Life can send us into some sharp curves, where we find we have a choice:
Do we respond to the warning signs by slowing our pace and focusing my attention; or,
Do we react with a last minute veering, with the hope we won't careen off the road?
My hope is we would slow down and respond to the warning. However, in order to even see the warning signs, we must be intentionally present in this journey of life and not distracted by all the noise.
Life has thrown us all some curves. Things that caught us completely off guard. The enemy will do that, especially when he sees us diligently working to serve and fulfill God’s call upon our lives.
We are never told the life of service will be easy. If we look at Paul's' life, we see all sorts of trials he faced. In 2 Corinthians 11:16-33, Paul itemizes, even boasts of, flogging, imprisonment, being shipwrecked, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, and being exposed in the cold.
Why would he boast of things normally considered to be weaknesses?
A little further, in 2 Corinthians 12, we learn that Paul was given a "thorn in his flesh" (v. 7), to keep him humble. Paul "pleaded with the Lord three times for it to leave me alone" (v.8), but thankfully the story doesn't end there with an unanswered prayer. Paul is answered in an unexpectedly beautiful way, that God’s grace is all we need, for his power works best in our weakness.
We have hope in the knowledge that God will strengthen us for His work through our weaknesses and trials.
God is not a puppet master visiting life's calamities upon us. He is good and gracious, and loves us enough to allow us the free will to make choices in this life. The effects of our choices, the effects of the choices of others, and the influence of the evil one are often behind the harsher times of life. Not that we or others necessarily make choices that would cause intentional harm, but we are human, and not omniscient. We miscommunicate. We have misunderstandings. Like a pebble tossed into a pond, our choices have a ripple effect.
My lack of self care in early adulthood had ripple effects. Not tending to my mental and physical health took its toll in a cascading effect. Physically it began with a lack of exercise and not eating for wellness. Naturally, this led to obesity, which eventually triggered chronic pain.
Mentally, it began with a desire to prove myself. I couldn’t show weakness by reaching out for help, for if I did, maybe it meant I wasn’t good enough. That kind of thinking, along with the state of my physical health, or lack thereof, led to a spiral of depression. A depression where I began to think this could only be happening to me. That I was alone.
Yet, our loving God does for us just what he did for Paul, he forges our character, determination, and even our purpose out of the fires of our experience.
While I prayed to be healed, for God to take away the proverbial thorn, he had other plans. He put people in my life to speak truths I couldn’t yet grasp or claim as my own. Doctors who challenged me out of the woe is me mindset and helped me find alternative therapies. Friends who believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Spiritual mentors who led by example and experience.
He helped me see the purpose he could bring out of the pain, if I would only believe in his promises and follow the steps he began to place in my path.
One small step at a time.
Joseph of the Old Testament is another example of someone who encountered a lot of trouble in life. In Genesis we learn his brothers threw him into a cistern to die, but, thanks to Judah’s intervention, they changed their minds and sold him into slavery (Gen. 37:24-28). As a slave in Egypt he was falsely accused and imprisoned (Gen. 39:11-23). However, Joseph's life was used to turn the story around and save not only his scheming, jealous and greedy brothers, but also their entire nation. Joseph said, " 'You planned something bad for me, but God produced something good from it, in order to save the lives of many people, just as he's doing today. Now, don't be afraid. I will take care of you and your children.' So he put them at ease and spoke reassuringly to them" (Gen. 50:20-21).
God takes what is bad and turns it around not only for our good, but for the good of many others.
Whatever trials you are experiencing, you are validated in your feelings toward them. Comparison to others is usually a joy stealer. We also should be wary of comparing our trials. The trials each of us face evoke emotions that are valid and real. We do ourselves a disservice to trivialize our emotional response to our struggles because another person's struggle may seem worse.
What if, instead, we embrace the emotions? When we embrace our present reality, we give ourselves grace and permission to feel and process our emotions. Permission to slow down as we enter the sharp curves and give ourselves grace for the inevitable growth that’s about to occur. But we don’t camp out in the curves, for to do so would be dangerous. Rather, we slow down, proceed with care as we gracefully process our response, and then come out of the curves ready for the next part of the journey.
Prayer and journaling can be very powerful methods of processing. Confiding in a trusted friend, coach or counselor also helps tremendously, because having someone else's perspective can help us move forward, showing us possibilities and options we may not yet be able to see. We may or may not be able to change our current circumstances, but we can change our perspective, which can make a world of difference in how we respond to a situation. Embracing reality and shifting our perspective begins a healing process, which in turn leads to spiritual growth and maturity.
When I slow down and see the curves as part of the journey, rather than a hindrance, my perspective changes. I begin to ask questions:
Am I exercising faith over fear?
What can I learn from this experience?
How can this experience help me grow in my faith and relationship with God?
How can I use this experience and what I've learned to help others?
Often it's the long, winding and curvy roads which have the most scenic route. There can be a certain beauty there, we just have to slow down and look for it in the midst of the journey. And when we need to stop and rest, we can then look back with gratitude for having slowed down and traveled well through the curves.
Give yourself grace and allow healing to begin.
What steps can you take to embrace this season of your journey and the emotions that go with it?
How can you be more intentional today in looking for the beauty of the journey while traveling through the curves?
-Laura Greer
Women2Women Ministry
Women2Women is a ministry that encourages women to cultivate an intimate relationship with Christ, while also exploring how God has uniquely created, gifted, and called each of us. We connect with women where they are in life’s journey, providing opportunities for spiritual growth, health and wellness, intergenerational fellowship, friendship, and mentoring. Events and retreats are targeted to the needs of women so we can grow deeper in our faith, develop our gifts and abilities, and establish long lasting friendships. For more information contact Laura Greer at (828) 456-3993, ext. 204 or Laura.Greer@LongsChapel.com, or Vickie Staib at (828) 646-8819.
